Jokes

Pity the bloke who invented the drawing board.
Every time he got it wrong, he had nothing to go back to.

Ann Widdecombe says she’s a virgin for religious reasons.
The reason being that God made her incredibly ugly.

Educayshun.Educayshun.Educayshun.
When Tony Blair says he wants all kids to stay on at school til they’re 18. Doesn’t he realize that won’t work in places like Bolton. Who’s going to pick up their 3 kids from the primary school?!

Hotel mini-bars are like time machines.
Open the door and you find out what a can of Pepsi’s going to cost in the year 2020.

We used to have a little puppy-
Got run over by the milkman.
So we buried him in the back garden.
Then after dark we pushed his milkfloat in the canal.

I recently discovered that Lord Nelson was actually known as Lord Neilson, until he lost an ‘I’.

After 7/7, everyone in London was very nervous.
I was on a bus a few weeks ago, and suddenly it stopped with a big bump.
Everyone thought,
“Oh God! Terrorism!”
Luckily we’d only run over a baby.

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